


Support

by DeadHero



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Depression, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Reflection, look im sad and gay and just yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 16:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13663008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadHero/pseuds/DeadHero
Summary: Juno Steel hates himself.





	Support

Juno Steel hates himself.

It’s not a secret or something well-hidden. It’s apparent in every way, from the way he fights to the way he lives to the way he tried to sabotage any chance of ever having any meaningful romantic love in his life. Juno rushes in head first not because he’s stupid but because he just doesn’t care if comes out alright on the other side.  This is a fact so deeply ingrained into his personhood from when he was child and now is held closely like a shield as a tired forty-year old.

This is not something Peter Nureyev can understand.

To Peter, Juno is something out of myth, like his namesake. He’s all righteous fury and moral outrage and vindicated justice, running headlong into any situation to solve any case thrown at his feet. He’s caring and balancing between the right and wrong side of too sharp, the lines carved into his soul and his skin jagged and his eyes spark like flint against stone when he finally pieces everything together. Juno is a damning angel sent to protect the weak and tear down the bullies. A one-man army against the big, mean world.

That said, just because Peter doesn’t understand doesn’t mean he doesn’t accept and do his best to support.

Peter can do this because he knows what it feels like to be abandoned. To be shunned. Left behind. Rejected. He never wishes it on anyone least of all the love of his life.

So, Peter stays and Juno hates and hates and hates until he starts to hate a little less. Peter is there when his lady comes stumbling in through their door at 5am after an awful wreck of a case and is being pulled under by the rising fury of is own loathing that Juno falls back on the old and familiar bottles stashed under the sink and on top of the fridge. Peter is also there when it’s 2pm and Juno is just starting to stir, his eyebrows furrowing and muscles tensing as he shifts and cozies even closer to Peter in the warm drowsiness of sunlight and a clean comforter, Juno’s face scrunching up before he relaxes and melts back into a soft doze.

Slowly, Juno stops rushing in with his fist so quickly and starts leading with checking around corners with a blaster held in front. He starts washing his clothes and bandaging his wounds and taking painkillers that aren’t alcohol and sitting up straighter, just a little bit. Peter sees these changes, and he smiles.

Because the thing with loving someone who can barely stand existing every other day, much less getting out of bed, is to just be there. You can’t fix them. Oh, you can kiss their scars and listen to their past and hold them as they cry but you can’t magically cure their illness. You can’t wipe their tragedy of person away and start anew because reset buttons don’t exist. You just need to hand them a dust-pan and a broom to help them start picking up the pieces.

All you can do is stay and support and love and cherish and hold and care for and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> look idk where im really going with this and what i mean can be probably said much better and i think i screwed up how i wanted to write this but its midnight and ive only had 2 hours of sleep in the past 48 so yeah.  
> anyways, find me @ fan-art-ic on tumblr and pls talk to me about the penumbra podcast


End file.
